


Bitchy Surprise

by Chelidona (Hobbity)



Category: The Mortal Instruments (Movies), Young Hercules
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Humour, M/M, Sex Change, Werewolves, it's a wild mix really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 07:38:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9983159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hobbity/pseuds/Chelidona
Summary: This is a prize fic Lakritzwolf won in the WinterFRE - she prompted me to write a not too dark and angsty story about Iolaus being turned into a female werewolf. I hope you like it :)





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lakritzwolf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lakritzwolf/gifts).



> Islandkate betaed - thank you so much!!!

Luke had not budged from Iolaus’ bedside since the attack. Another pack of werewolves, from New Jersey, had ambushed them when Luke and Iolaus had made one of their very infrequent stops at the garage.

Anywhere else would have been better for their purpose: the leader meant to kill Luke to take over the Brooklyn pack. Instead, Luke had killed their leader. But in the fray, Iolaus had been bitten by a werewolf.

Luke had left it to Alaric to sort out the aftermath… Technically, Luke happened to be the leader of that other pack too now. But he was more worried about Iolaus. A werewolf bite.

They had patched Iolaus up in the hospital, nurses admonishing Luke to file charges against the owner of the vicious dog. Luke had just nodded, inwardly plotting to identify the attacker and kill him.

Now Iolaus was laying in their bed, looking frail, like a porcelain doll. The tranquillity in Iolaus’ features was eerie; even when asleep, Iolaus was never this still. Luke had so often threatened to make Iolaus sleep on the couch, because of all the tossing, and turning, and fidgeting at night. Now Luke would have given anything for Iolaus to just twitch a finger. But he was still, apart from the even raising and falling of his chest.

Luke started when the doorbell rang. With a last look at Iolaus, Luke hurried to the door. As expected, it was Alaric. What wasn’t expected, was the huge pizza box in Alaric’s hands. “I figured you wouldn’t have eaten,” Alaric explained. Luke could just nod while he let Alaric enter.

“How is he?”

“He’ll survive.”

“Good.” Alaric went straight to the kitchen and took out a plate, without asking Luke. Luke leant against the door watching Alric pile slices of pizza on the plate. The man knew him well enough.

“I’m almost sure he was infected though.”

“I never heard of someone bitten by a werewolf who wasn’t.” They looked at each other. Then Alaric pushed the plate in Luke’s hand. “You need to tell him.”

“I will.”

Luke turned and went back to the bedroom, Alaric following. Iolaus was still sleeping. Luke started to eat in silence.

“We got the other werewolves locked up in the garage,” Alaric said. “I don’t think any are in the mood to challenge you.”

“That’s good.”

“So these are our new packmates.”

“Looks like it.” Luke tried to focus on the pizza. This was one of the most annoying parts of being a werewolf. Pack dynamics. The curse not only forced an animal body and mind on them, it also forced them into groups, bringing them in close proximity with people they would ordinarily avoid. So far, they were lucky in Brooklyn, Luke genuinely liked the pack members.

“You know what it means for Iolaus,” Alaric broke the silence again after several minutes.

“Might mean,” Luke corrected him.

A groan had them both turn to the bed. The muscles in Iolaus’ jaw were working and he was curling his fingers.

“Iolaus? Babe?”

Iolaus moaned softly again, then his eyes fluttered open. Luke couldn’t help his sigh of relief. “Babe. I was so worried.” He quickly grabbed Iolaus’ hand and his beloved pressed it gently.

Always the one with the level head, Alaric left his leader to moon over his lover, while he went and fetched some water and the painkillers on the kitchen table.

Ten minutes later, Iolaus was propped up with pillows, and looked at the two older men, worry lines edging his forehead. “I was bitten by a werewolf, right?”

Luke looked down; he considered lying for a fleeting moment, he didn’t want to unsettle Iolaus, but then he nodded. “Yes. I’m so sorry babe, I was meant to protect you, and …”

“I was bitten by a werewolf.” Iolaus’ voice was almost dreamy. “So I was infected too, right.”

“We think so, yes.”

“I’m a werewolf.” Iolaus voice was full of the calm that could only be produced by the repression of panic.

Luke was just trying to come up with something calming to say, when Alaric barged in. “And considering you’re Luke’s mate, you’ll be a female wolf. The Alpha Bitch.”

“I WHAT!!!!” Iolaus sat up straight and then groaned, because he evidently pulled the stitches. Still, his glare was enough to make both Luke and Alaric shrink. “SAY THAT AGAIN!” Iolaus roared with admirable force for somebody who had been unconscious not 15 minutes earlier.

“As Luke’s mate you’re going to be the alpha bitch.”

Luke put up his hands, in an effort to calm Iolaus down and glared at Alaric. “We’re not sure that will happen.”

“I just thought it was fair to mention that possibility,” his second in command said too calmly for somebody currently very high on Luke’s “to maim” list for upsetting Iolaus.

“NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS FAIR!” Iolaus screamed. “This fucking curse can tell this bastard shagged me?”

“Well …” Alaric hedged. “Maybe if you stopped …”

“Aaaaaaah.”

Luke patted Iolaus absentmindedly, until Iolaus shoved his hand away. “Get your paws off me!!! Don’t you touch me!”

“Babe …”

“And don’t ‘babe’ me! He just said if you don’t touch me, that won’t happen!”

Luke glared at Alaric who at the grace to look a little guilty. “I think you better go,” he growled, and Alaric got up obediently. Luke got up too, following Alaric out. He was collected enough to thank Alaric for the help and the pizza when they made it to the door.

After showing Alaric out, Luke went to fetch a fresh glass of water, and waited patiently next to the bed while Iolaus slowly came out of his panic attack.

He took the glass of water from Luke and drank silently. “I don’t like this.”

“I know, I know.”

“What … why does this have to happen?” Iolaus was wailing and Luke hastily took the glass, in case another panic attack was imminent.

“It’s just … it’s just the curse?”

“So being shagged by a werewolf is like magic?”

“Not quite. Or maybe … I don’t know. It doesn’t actually happen enough to be sure, you know?”

“What doesn’t happen often enough?”

“That the same sex partner of an alpha wolf gets turned. There are not too many alpha werewolves who are in a same sex relationship, you know.”

“Figures I’d be lucky enough to bag the alpha.”

Luke tactfully didn’t point out that Iolaus had been childishly proud to find out that Luke was the alpha of his pack. That was before that had negative consequences for Iolaus, of course. Instead he rubbed Iolaus’ arm in what he hoped was a soothing manner. “I’m not sure it has something to do with shagging, more with the pack structure? Once we’re turned, there’s always something of the wolf in us, even in human form. And the pack is usually led by the alpha couple. The wolf part of the other guys has long slotted you into the place of the alpha bitch,” he winced when Iolaus’ swatted him, “the place of my mate which is the alpha position, so the theory is that the magic of the curse works on that. There was a woman, who was alpha, in London, and her girlfriend was turned into a male wolf. That was thirty years ago or so. That’s why we think that your wolf body might be female.”

Iolaus whimpered.

“Can I hold you?” Luke asked desperately. Iolaus shuffled a little bit to the side, careful not to irritate his wound now and Luke slipped in next to him, holding Iolaus gently.

There was nothing more to say; nothing to make this any better.

***

They almost ignored what happened after that night. Luke dealt with his new pack members; a growl and an intense stare was all it took to make the one guy who looked like he was about to challenge Luke to a fight for leadership back down.

Luke sent them on their way back to Jersey; modern leader that he was, he had all their mobile numbers now and a nagging sense of responsibility for these strangers.

Iolaus recovered well from his wounds; physically at least. He resolutely refused to talk about anything werewolf related.

Three weeks later, it was nearly full moon and Iolaus was feeling the itch to change; Luke managed to persuade him, with some difficulty, to come to the shop and go into the chamber for a controlled first transformation.

Luke himself could wait; he had been a werewolf long enough to be in nearly full control over his transformations. He was sitting outside the padded room, biting his fingernails. He could hear Iolaus growling and tearing at the walls inside, he knew how terrible it was, that first transformation, he had never wanted to bring this on Iolaus, he had never wanted Iolaus to experience this. And when he found out that Iolaus was infected he had sworn that he would be there for him, that Iolaus would not be alone. But he was. All information they had given Iolaus about wolf reproduction and the improbability of his wolf body being in heat in early summer were futile. Iolaus was panicked. Luke could tell, though, even from outside, that Iolaus was most definitely not in heat. He could smell the wolf through the padded door, but no sex hormones.

Iolaus stumbled out, his blue eyes wide and terrified. “I was … I really was a female.” He stared up at Luke without focusing on him. “I really was. I … I didn’t have balls, Luke. Or a peen. I …”

“You were still a man,” Luke said as soothing as possible.

“No, you see …”

“It doesn’t matter what shape your body takes,” Luke interrupted him. “Never forget that, okay? That’s the key. When in wolf form, never forget you’re human. With some extra abilities. And, in your case, never forget that you’re a man. Genitalia don’t define you. Don’t let the curse tell you what you are. You’re a man, balls or no balls.”

“Let’s just … let’s just go home.”

Luke did his best not to feel hurt when Iolaus turned around and was already stumbling towards the stairs. This was the first time he turned; it was a traumatic experience for all of them, that first time you found yourself in the wrong body.

They drove home in silence, Iolaus staring out of the window, lost in his own thoughts.

At home, Luke grabbed Iolaus hand before he could disappear in the bedroom and made him sit down on the couch. “Babe. You can’t just keep running away from this. We need to face what happened. I’m so sorry, alright? I never meant …”

“Don’t.” Iolaus’ grumpy frown vanished and he pecked Luke on the lips. “Don’t. It wasn’t your fault. You were the target, and all of you were surprised.”

“Still, I …”

“If …” And Iolaus frowned again, “If you were going to say anything stupid like you regret being together with me, I’m going to punch you in the dick.”

Luke bit his lip.

“You totally were, right?” Iolaus thumped him on the forehead. “Luke, you TOLD me you were a werewolf before this got serious. I’m an adult. I took a risk.”

“I love you.” Luke sighed and cuddled closer for a kiss. For a while they were engaged in cuddling and soft kisses, then Iolaus straightened again.

“Just why … why did I need to turn into a bitch?? I’m a man! I’m very much a man! What is that stupid idea that a pack cannot be led by two men? Why does there need to be a bitch? That’s just … that seems wrong!”

“Look,” Luke said, with a sigh. “Yes, the curse is very hetero-normative. Being a werewolf sucks. What made you think it was a very open minded entity, that respected bodily autonomy, that came up with it?”

“I don’t know. You never told me how that curse started.”

“Nobody knows.” Luke shrugged. “The latest idea I heard was that it was a powerful group of warlocks in the middle ages.”

“But …”

“And that earlier stories were about other shape shifters and possibly religious rituals, which inspired that warlock.”

Iolaus grimaced. “Evil warlocks, that makes sense.”

“Yeah. The purpose was probably to create an army for themselves. That must have backfired, but it would have made sense for them to have an inbuilt system to create more werewolves.”

“By having an alpha bitch.”

“Precisely.”

“Hm.” Iolaus appeared to mull that over, then he tightened his mouth and poked Luke in the chest.

“You,” Iolaus said with finality, “are getting a vasectomy.”

“I’m getting a what?” Luke blinked. “Why …”

“I _am not_ , under no circumstances, taking the risk of getting pregnant. And just to make sure that it worked in wolf form, I’m then going to take you to the vet just to make sure that the sterilisation that nice other doctor did, actually worked.”

“The vet??? Iolaus …”

“That,” Iolaus said, ice in his voice, “is final. I’m not going to do this unless you make absolutely 100% sure that I’m not getting pregnant.”

“But … the vet?” Luke knew he was whining.

“Yes.” Iolaus’ blue eyes were sparkling with manic glee. “I’m going to get a collar, and a leash, and you’re going to be a nice, docile doggie.”

“I’m a werewolf, not …”

“Not a golden retriever, yada, yada, we all heard that little slogan.”

“Well, I’m not.” Luke ran his hand along Iolaus’ back. He could tell that Iolaus’ muscles were tightened painfully. Drawing a reluctant Iolaus closer again, Luke began to gently massage his shoulders.

“I’ll get a vasectomy and we can go to the vet to make sure. Just please don’t tell the others?”

“If you behave.”

“I always do.” Luke gave him a soft kiss. “As long as you stay with me despite this inconvenience.”

“It’s not just an inconvenience.” But the fight seemed to have drained out of Iolaus and he snuggled up to Luke who engulfed him in his arms.

“I am so sorry this happened to you, babe, I’m so sorry. I love you.” There was no response and when Luke looked down, Iolaus’ eyes were closed. Gently, Luke lifted him up and carried him to bed. Iolaus was mumbling incoherently and he snuggled closer to Luke. Relief spread through Luke with a force that almost brought him to his knees. Despite all of this, Iolaus still instinctively trusted him. He deposited Iolaus on the bed as carefully as possible and tucked him in.

Iolaus stretched out on hand, and Luke took it, settling on the edge of bed next to Iolaus just watching over. Not for the first time, Luke wondered how he had deserved Iolaus. A young man who covered the biggest heart and the fiercest loyalty under a smart mouth. He gently caressed Iolaus’ hand as the blond succumbed to his exhaustion. Asleep, his face was perfectly smooth and open.

Luke felt tears welling up in his eyes. He had meant to protect that innocence. It had been selfish of him to pursue his relationship with Iolaus, knowing the risk. Now, the love of his life was cursed along with him. Then he remembered what Iolaus said. It had been Iolaus choice. Iolaus loved him. And they would go through this together.

***

The doctor didn’t understand why Luke was in such a hurry to get a vasectomy. He told Luke to take some time to think this over, it was a big step. But Luke insisted that he had thought it over, and that he was very certain he’d never want kids. He didn’t add that he particularly didn’t want kids because the kids would be cubs.

Getting an appointment was no problem. Informing Iolaus that it would take 12 weeks, twelve full weeks, for any residual sperm to be gone and for the vasectomy to really take effect, was a completely different thing. Despite him and Alaric explaining again, with the help of literature, that it was really extremely unlikely for Iolaus to be in heat during that time, Iolaus was frantic and wanted to absolutely avoid the pack’s trip to their farm upstate, where they would run the entire weekend as wolves.

It was healthy for werewolves and Luke insisted. He employed what Iolaus called his “illegal puppy eyes” to make Iolaus come.

The vasectomy and the trip to the vet had drained their bank account, but Luke and Iolaus felt it had been a good investment. However weekends at the farm were the only vacationing they would be doing for a while.

***

The reaction of the other werewolves to him put Iolaus’ mind at ease during the retreat; it was obvious that he was not in heat, no one acted in any way suspiciously around him.

Of course, in the evening they all turned into men again to indulge in a round of beer. While the rest of the pack was crammed in the living room, watching football, Alaric was in the kitchen with Iolaus and Luke.

“I’m sorry I sprung that information on you, when you were just turned,” Alaric said not for the first time. “That was stupid.”

Iolaus shrugged. “You were right though. Getting it all over with.”

“The curse can be a bitch.”

“Oy!” Iolaus glared at him, not sure if that was a veiled insult. Alaric and Luke both laughed when they realised.

“Sorry,” Alaric repeated. “But of course the upshot of you actually being a man is that you can’t get pregnant. No werewolf cubs to worry about.”

“I can’t?” Iolaus looked at him and then to Luke. Had Luke told them about the vasectomy? But Luke just shook his head almost imperceptibly.

“He can’t?” Luke repeated Iolaus’ question.

“Well, I figure he doesn’t have an uterus when he turns human again?”

“But maybe … maybe with babies he wouldn’t be able to?”

Maybe they should have discussed that in more detail before throwing a lot of money on a vasectomy. Alaric looked thoughtful. “Perhaps. But even with wolves it takes longer for the eggs to be fertilised and settle in the uterus than the 30 minutes the male and female are stuck together …”

“Stuck?” Iolaus voice had turned into a screech.

“You really didn’t read anything, did you?” This was the long-suffering voice of any second in command. “As I hope at least Luke is aware …” Luke made a face to indicate he was very aware of whatever they were discussing, “… when wolves mate, the male’s dick swells and the couple is stuck for 30 minutes or so. Good trick by mother nature, eh?”

“No mating,” Iolaus said immediately. “I am not, under any circumstances, going to be literally held in place by your dick.”

“But babe …”

“No. No wolf sex.”

“Well,” Alaric grinned, “it is apparently painful. So I’m looking forward to seeing Iolaus chase Luke off when he’s in heat.”

“You’re going to lust after him too, with all the hormones,” Luke shot back and then blanched. He and Alaric looked at Iolaus, who, once more, looked ready to burst.

“You,” and he glared towards the living room, where the rest of the pack had no clue what they talked about, “are all going to stay away from me. Or I am going to have you all castrated.”

“Nothing will happen,” Luke assured him again. “Nothing you don’t want anyway.”

 

Luke was feeling shy again that night, when they cuddled in the bed, while the rest of the pack was sleeping on various floor spaces in wolf form.

“Do you regret it now?” Luke whispered in Iolaus’ ear, spooning him.

“Regret what? Letting myself be bitten?”

“That’s not what I meant.” Luke’s arm was only very loosely draped over Iolaus’ waist. “Being with me. Despite … despite the curse. Do you regret it now?”

Iolaus pressed himself against Luke’s body. “No!” he whispered with some force. “No, you dolt. I’m angry, I’m frustrated, but I wouldn’t even regret anything if I’d get pregnant, ok? I love you. If being with you means turning into a wolf with an inconvenient uterus occasionally, it’s worth it. Just let me be frustrated.”

“I can do that.” Luke turned Iolaus over to kiss him. “I love you so much.”


End file.
